Rebecca Barry's heartfelt NYT essay "Alzheimer’s Can Be a World of Endless Second Chances" celebrates her Father's mind just-as-it-is — descending into dementia, and yet full of love and surprises. Ms Barry's gratitude-list includes:

• "He’s forgotten that he was mad at me before and now he likes me a lot because I can find things ..."
• "While he remembers that I wrote books, he doesn’t remember that he didn’t much care for them. ..."
• "He repeats stories, but on the flip side, I get to tell stories over and over, and he appreciates them each time as if they’re brand-new. ..."
• "He says funny things. ..."

... and even more magical:

Because he lives in a world that isn’t governed by time, entering the house is like moving into a sacred realm where anything can happen and all that matters is the person in front of you. I love this place. Nothing has to be factually true. The past can be erased or reinvented at any time. There is a beautiful flow when you let go of caring about what he remembers or arguing about what’s real. When someone is traveling to a different land, why not join him?

I also love the freedom in talking to someone knowing he’ll forget most of what you say. There are endless second chances.

... and there's Ms Barry's beautiful set of questions she asks herself:

... And sometimes I wonder, what is my memory keeping from me? If I didn’t remember past hurts and grudges, how much lighter and more forgiving would I be? Would we all be nicer to one another if we remembered less? Love people we otherwise don’t? Love people we do even better?

... and her description of a key facet of her father's mind:

... so wonderful an aspiration, for all minds, at all times of life!

_{(cf Nonattachment to I (2012-01-15), Heartfulness and Mindfulness (2014-12-15), Fear of Failing (2015-07-08), Fraying at the Edges (2016-05-04), Mantra - Mind Your Heart (2024-08-22), ...) - ^z - 2024-12-26}